5 grams and about 14 pounds

I'm getting my last round of high dose steroids this morning. It has been a 1000mg of Solumedrol a day for the last 4 days.  It has me wired, with a metallic taste in my mouth and swollen. Swollen like one of those ticks you find under your dog's collar that has been hiding and feasting for 3 days. Yeah, that kind of swollen. The only other time I have felt like this is when my oldest decided he had no real reason to come out on his due date, and waited another 10 days.  I have about 14# of water weight on me.  Thank goodness for diuretics.

Is it helping? Meh.... I dunno. The spasticity (tightness) in my muscles is better, but my gait is still far from normal. It has started to sink in that the life I knew 3 weeks ago, has been altered. It has jumped the tracks, running parallel, and a lot slower.  Where before the direction was clear and mapped out, it now it rolls on tracks heading continously into fog.  

One of the hardest adjustments is the requirement of living day by day.  Activity by activity. Appointment by appointment.  Everything takes a lot longer and more planning. There is very little unconscious activity, except for talking with my hands. Thank God that hasn't been affected. :) I would have to hand in my Norwegian heritage card. 

So this is Life. The beautiful unpredictable beast. I sit in a quiet infusion center on a Sunday morning, while the boys eat pancakes and go to look at airplanes somewhere else in the city.  The daughter gets to be in all girl glory with stuffed kitties, red shoes and girlfriends back home.  And this is where I am meant to be. For reasons yet unrevealed, but I have faith......

  • by Diane