Life is what happens....

I have a beautiful friend

who recently dropped the bomb that she and her family were moving.  After the room stopped spinning and I could again exhale, she went on to explain that they needed to move to a larger city for services for their son.  See, they had recently come to terms with the fact that their beautiful brown-eyed boy has

Autism.

She changed the subject to me and my life, asking how things were going for me, and after a few monosyllabic answers, my intuitive friend asked "What is going on in your head?"

I looked up at her from my chair, eyes brimming with tears and said

"I am SO ANGRY for you! You did EVERYTHING right. EVERYTHING! And still...."

And she had.  Organic foods, spaced immunization, forgoing all pain meds (God bless her!) during her labor and delivery.  If it was suggested, she had done it. She had taken all precautions and yet here were were, almost two years later... They had watched their adorable, snugly boy become almost completely nonverbal.

what.the.hell?

Was this some sick joke of the universe?

And so I cried. And she cried. And we hugged. and we just gave over the moment, the reality to God.

It was one of those times where there is nothing to say.  Everything sounds trite.  There are only tears and hugs and love.  There is no understanding or uncovering the "why?"  There is just acceptance and faith. And love. 

A whole lot of Love.

If you don't know where this quote is from, watch this:

Cece

I had the pleasure of spending half a day with Cece and her Mom, Laura. They had contacted me and asked if I would shoot some senior pictures for Cece.  Despite the increasing heat of the day, we had a blast! From the greenery of nature to the urban gritty feel of the alleys in town, Cece did an amazing job in her shoot!  I wish her the VERY best in her future!!

(Go Sioux! I mean Roughriders, or NoDak, or Fighting Groundsquirrels, or.....)

A Custom Design.

Four sisters.

1 girl's weekend.

1 diagnosis of breast cancer.

Here are prayers for a weekend filled with laughter until you cry, memories that will last forever, and love that will sustain all of you.

An unexpected gift.

One of my dearest friends asked me to snap some photos of her. She needed a few different ones for a variety of reasons and it would make for a fun day together! We have known each other for 18 years, which seems impossible, because that would put us in the 40 range....... but I digress.

Amy and I met as brand spanking new grads in a chaotic, never dull, what-have-we-gotten-ourselves-into Intensive Care Unit.  We were both new grads in a sea of experienced nurses and frankly, we both looked 16.  Many families gave us questionable glances as we bounced into their family members room, ponytails a-swinging announcing we were in charge of their loved one's care for the next 12 (or maybe 16) hours.  We shared an preceptor, who introduced us to each other saying "You should be friends." and so, we were. Thanks Noreen.

The first year as a nurse is trying. The first year as a new-grad ICU nurse is hell.  Our circadian rhythms had never seen such chaos.  Our shifts went something like night, night, off ,day, night, off, pm's, day, night and we at a LOT of cereal.  Our bodies were exposed to germs like never before and on those precious days off we were usually sick.  The emotional drain of seeing mortality play its "everyone is fair game" game was exhausting.  But, we were in it together for that first year.  And our friendship was cemented over tears, laughter, micro-brews and chocolate.

Eventually our lives took diverging paths.  I married a CNA who wanted to be a doc (who I tried to set her up with first). She moved to the twin cities and eventually married a doctor. I had a couple babies. She had a marriage end.  She saw the wonderment of places like Greece, Switzerland, Argentina.  I saw a lot of diapers and board books.  She is working on a Master's degree, I'm trying to figure out Common Core.

But through it all we've stayed close.  And with any true relationships, we've had some struggles.  And we've had a lot of joy.  We have shared so incredibly much.

So today as I was shooting a few shots of her curled up in her chair, coffee cup in hand, I looked down at my screen and saw the image I just captured.  I was overcome with every memory, every moment, every frustration I've had with her for not seeing her as I see her; beautiful, gentle, intelligent, enough. 

It was one of those rare moments where I knew, in my soul, I was exactly where I was meant to be.

God gave me this moment of clarity in this space, with someone who loved me unconditionally; someone who loved me through the good and the unlovable times, who knew my story because they had been part of it for dang near half of it.  I looked up from my camera and just wept those big ugly-cry tears that only your closest friends get to witness. 

At the beginning of the day, I thought I was doing something for her.  But in the end, it was she who gave me more than she could ever imagine.