I have an awesome friend Heather who is part of a crummy little club I'm in: the "Our Moms are Dead" club. We wish we could keep the membership exclusively to ourselves, unfortunately the membership continues to grow. Heather and I share our random blows of grief, and the love of re-purposing stuff, wine, inappropriate jokes. And, our youngest children are going to get married someday. Well, that is according to my 5 year old son.
One day as we were waiting (parked, with the engines off, of course) to pick up kids from school, I get a text "Don't mind me, I'm just plucking my brows."
"That is sheer brilliance!!!" I thought.
What ensued next was a conversation (that would never in a million years enter one cell of our husbands' or most male's brains) about how we can always see about 14 stray eyebrow hairs that need plucking in our car mirrors, but we get home and look in a mirror, and nope. Nothing.
Since we both drive Fords, maybe they have a magical eyebrow-exposing mirror option? Maybe my mirrors at home are just too covered in toothpaste, hand-prints and water marks for me to see the little rascals? Or maybe its just the daylight.
Its funny how shedding a little daylight on something can change your entire perspective on it. I've gone from "Wow! Those brows looks amazing" to "I look like "Sam the Eagle" in about 20 minutes due to daylight.
The same goes for those horrible squabbles that 1, 4 or 16 years of marriage can bring. In the dark of the night you wonder how you ever ended up, married to this person who, how dare him, continues to use those stupid little grocery bags in the tall kitchen garbage can, so when you throw in disgusting chicken packaging, it goes "Shlump!" all the way to the bottom, not containing on drop of the juicy chicken carnage.... (Not that this has happened once.. or 15 times...) But morning comes, and in the daylight it really pales to any of the real struggles you have survived together. And he made you coffee. And made you laugh. Daylight has a magical way of exposing the truth, not the dark and inky lies we let slither inside our thoughts in the night. Nighttime can be intoxicating, when creativity flows and ideas come alive, and also when thoughts get twisted and turned into half-truths and magnificent artificial stories we tell ourselves.
As my kids get older, I am hoping they can keep a promise to me. I want them to try their very hardest to not make any rash, major decision after dark.
"It's 2am! Lets get a tattoo!"
"It's 3 in the morning, let's run across the Hi-Line bridge!"
"Its midnight, and he hasn't called. I have no reason to live anymore, and I'll show him"
Just promise me you will wait.
Give it 8 hours.
I promise, PROMISE, it all will look different, you may feel different, and maybe you will have needed to sober up.
As a self-professed Night Owl, it pangs me to admit it, but sunrise and daylight are magical and have healing and mystical powers. With each calm sunrise, as the daylight slips over the landscape and drowns out darkness and doubt, it reveals reality and truth.... like the invaluable need for a CarTweezers.